Dork Tidings - John Kovalic

The Dork Tower Haiku Kontest turned out far better than I could have imagined. There were many more entries - and grand ones, at that - than we had room even for honorable mentions. So, it looks like this may have to become an annual thing.

Anyway, cutting to the chase (drumroll, please), we have a winner...and several awfully good runners up. And one not so good, but it had to be mentioned anyway.

If the winners and runners-up could drop me an e-mail at john@kovalic.com, with their addresses, I'll try and get the prizes in the mail this week.

Grand Prize Winner

tabbyfoo:

On the first day of
Christmas, my true love gave me
Munchkin and some dice.

On the second day
of Christmas my love gave me
Axis and Allies.

Third day comes along
and my lover gave to me
Chez Geek Expansions!

The fourth day will bring
some Dork Tower comic books
for me to devour.

On day number 5
she outdid herself real good...
Captain Kirk costume.

Days six and seven:
World of Warcraft expansion
and pre-paid game cards!

Eight days of Christmas
need eight arms to hold you tight:
Giant Stuffed Octopus!

Coming to day nine
collectors cards from a game
known as Pokemon.

Ten and eleven
these gifts are gamer's heaven
a new set of dice!

On day number twelve
she gave the best gift of all:
we play together!

Honorable Mentions:

daffodil_aura:
Gilly.... Mistletoe!
Matt smooches Kayleigh Carson instead!
Critical fumble!

kensan_oni:
Igor sets the trap
Milk and cookies near the tree
Santa's on diet

unclelumpy:
Hoody-freakin'-hoo
I waste 'em with my crossbow
Oh wait, wrong comic!

hackard:
Comatose today
Ate too many Igor bars
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

nvdaydreamer:
No, you can't, Igor
It's just wrong to level by
Killing those reindeer

Jeremy A. Reynolds (on Facebook)
It is the season
For the Igor To Reason
That all, "SHALL BE MINE!"

Honorable Mention, Sucking Up To John Division

pisica:
Winning Munchkin stuff
means I will rename my house
'The Real Dork Tower.'

Honorable Mention, Pure Chutzpah Division

Letitia Volden Kunicki (on Facebook):
dork dork dork dork dork
holiday holiday yay!
dork dork dork dork dork

• 11:33 Here's hoping today's NFL games will be as epic as yesterday's... #
• 11:33 Gut feeling: both home teams are going down. #
• 11:49 @fuzzface00 Munchkin Gold Pieces, I think, come in denominations if 100, 300 and 500, I believe. Each also a Munchkin "silhouette"... #
• 12:48 Game is far closer than I'd have guessed. Which is why I'm a cartoonist, not an NFL analyst... #
• 12:50 Just noticed: every city with a team playing this weekend is one I'd LOVE to get back to... #
• 12:51 Indianapolis vs. San Diego could have been billed as the Battle of the Geek Cons... #
• 12:54 The Gen Con team would be coached by Chuck Gnoll. HAHAHAHA.
  
  Tap tap tap. Is this thing on...? #
• 12:55 Chad Sexington is intercepted! Oh noes! #
• 13:09 Chad Sexington? Not again! Noeeeees! 10-3, Baltimore. #
• 13:46 Note to Chad Sexington: STOP THROWING THE LONG BOMB. With the emphasis on "bomb..." #
• 13:55 ...or running plays. Don't try those, either...
  
  Turnover#4. OK. Game now going along lines I suspected... #
• 14:10 Chad Sexington? Oh, noeeeeeees! More turnovers than the Pillsbury Doughboy. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 19:09 Falcons vs. Cardinals game was far better than we had a right to expect... #
• 19:14 Since when is "From the Producers of Happy Madison" actually considered a plus...? #
• 19:33 Chargers have second worst pass defense in the AFC. Thank goodness they're only up against Peyton Manning... #
• 19:46 @muskrat_john Correction: "FROM Happy Madison..." um. Yay. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

And while I note my beloved Leicester City F.C sits atop League One (read: Third Division), I'm talking the NATIONAL Football League...

The four road teams this weekend are all favorites. Today's games seem the most interesting, on paper. I'm no analyst, but from my amateur perspective, this is how I see things

SATURDAY, Jan 3

Atlanta at Arizona - the battle of "I Can't Believe I'm Here!" I don't see either team going deep into the playoffs, but Atlanta seems to have the potential to do the most damage.

Indianapolis at San Diego - I could see either team going deep, but then I can see them both fizzling, as well. Ladainian Tomlinson's been on a tear, but now he's hurt. Still, how can you not pull for a San Diego/Atlanta matchup in the Super Bowl, for a combined 17-15 record?

SUNDAY, Jan 4

Baltimore at Miami - OK, Baltimore scares me. I can see them make a defense-based run all the way to the big game. Miami's a sentimental favorite, given how poorly I think the Jets treated Chad Pennington, but in the only game this weekend I'd bet on, I see them getting crushed at home...

Philadelphia at Minnesota - the Packers fan in me can't wait for the Viqueens to fail in epic fashion, but I can see this game going either way, depending on which team shows up. Philadelphia should be on a roll after putting a humiliating thumping on the Dallas Cowboys, while Minnesota barely managed to squeak out a victory over the Giants' B-team, so momentum gives this to Philadelphia...plus, I need an excuse to go back to Big Red's Steaks, a pretty darned authentic Philly Cheesesteak place that recently upened downtown...

Teams with Bye Weeks:

Tennessee Titans - I'm not quite a believer yet, even though they have the top seed in the AFC. But as a Steelers fan, I'm not liking how they look. Steelers Titans games are usually tough, with the advantage going to the home team, should it get to that point.

The Pittsburgh Steelers - Despite an impressive Defense, the Steelers look as vulnerable to me as I've ever seen them. The Offensive line let more people through than a New York subway turnstile. Perhaps switching to a "take a number" system for sacking Roethlisberger would just be easier. The only matchup that wouldn't have me sweating is if the Dolphins upset the Raven. If the Steelers make it through to the AFC Championship, I'm not a big fan of any of the potential machups, be they home or away. The one I like least is a third Ravens/Steelers game.

Carolina Panthers - I honestly don't see Carolina as being as strong as most people are saying. But for a few quirks last Sunday, they very nearly fell to the number five seed. But they should be able to handle the Cardinals, Falcons or Vikings at home, with the Falcons being perhaps the toughest matchup.

New York Giants - Much like the Steelers and Panthers, the Giants still look vulnerable to me. They should handle the Cardinals or Falcons easily, but the Philadelphia Eagles may be the last team the Giants want to face, even at home. Still, the NFC playoff teams seem quite a bit weaker than the AFC teams, on average, and I'm not betting against the Giants getting back to the Super Bowl.

While I'd like to think otherwise, looking at the slate, I'm guessing (with the emphasis on "guessing") that it'll be a Ravens/Giants Super Bowl, with the Giants pulling it out in a close game.

YMMV, of course. Still, four NFL games this weekend, four games next weekend. I am a heppy, heppy ket.

****

Matt Smith is the new Doctor Who.





Soon to be renamed Flock of Cybermen.

I know nothing of him.

Discuss.

• 21:35 Louisa is only 11 weeks old, and is already mesmerized by Yo Gabba Gabba... #
• 21:36 @batemanimation Sadly, I'm writing 1889 on my checks... #
• 21:42 Judith bought Louisa a "Daddy's Girl" onesie. This makes "Daddy" exceptionally smiley. #
• 21:45 I'm humming the "Yo Gabba Gabba" song "I Like Bugs" as "I Like Drugs..." And suddenly "Yo Gabba Gabba" makes a LOT more sense... #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

It's about Beer...and Louisa...and Beer...which may have been responsible for Louisa!

Wow!

Thanks to replyhazy for this, which I never knew about...

Louisa.

Louisa, Louisa, Louisa.

Louisa.

LOUISA.

Louisa.

• 12:31 Just put shelves up in the new Studio. It's starting to look like a real Artist's Studio! Now all it needs is a Real Artist... #
• 12:33 @AtomicOvermind The studio is only costing me $10 a day! I'd spend more on coffee than that. Move to Madison! I found one that's cheaper! #
• 14:29 John is now used to referring to himself in the third person. Damn you, Facebook! #
• 14:30 I'm wrapping up work for the year. Huzzah, huzzah. Let's be careful out there... #
• 21:27 @fuzzface00 Marmots are never not funny. #
• 21:30 @batemanimation THANKS for the art! It rocks!!! #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 16:23 I'm loving the downtown studio. Hence so few recent Twitters...
  
  Oh. Wait... #
• 16:24 @JamesWallis Marmite=the Devil's condiment. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

I am awake, making sure Louisa is asleep.

Don't ask me how that works. It just does.

But here's some wonderful news to share amongst all Pratchett fans of the world. Spread it far and wide:


Pratchett leads showbiz honours

Author Terry Pratchett, jazz star Courtney Pine and singer Robert Plant are among the entertainment figures in the New Year Honours list.

Sir Terry, 60, said he was "flabbergasted" to be knighted for his services to literature...

Sir Terry , 60, best known for his hugely popular Discworld series of comic fantasy novels, has sold more than 55 million books worldwide.

"Sir Terry" has an amazing ring to it, doesn't it? :-)

Huzzah, huzzah!

Now, when do we get Sir Neil Gaiman?

Ganked from dorothyk

Madison Common Council Resolution 19141523: Restricting the Amount and Type of Snow that can Fall in the City of Madison

Whereas the brutal cold and relentless snow has utterly worn out its welcome in the City of Madison; and

Whereas snow removal is expensive and the city budget is already strained due to a myriad of factors including, but not limited to, the general recessive nature of the current economy; and

Whereas parking ticket revenues for snow related violations disproportionately affect renters who can least afford to pay for them; and

Whereas people are tired of shoveling their sideways four times a day and icy sidewalks create walkability hazards; and

Whereas Winter lasts entirely too long;

Be it therefore resolved that beginning on January 1, 2009, snow is forbidden from falling from the sky into the City of Madison in excess of 5 inches in any given month and;

Be it therefore further resolved snow falling is limited to three months, beginning December 1 and ending March 1 and;

Be if therefore further resolved that snow cannot fall concurrently with temperatures that are below zero Fahrenheit; and

Be it therefore further resolved that snow is not eligible to fall in Madison within 24 hours of rain, sleet or other precipitation.

Failure to comply with Madison’s new snow standards will result in a fine of $500 per square mile for each inch that falls in excess of allowable snow standards. Monthly five inch totals are non-transferable to other months.

Registrants for: General population.

Registrants against: School Children for Snow Days, the Snow Plow Lobby, Citizens Against Inane Madison Resolutions.

Testimony included concerned private snow plow lobbyists who indicated that this unfriendly attitude towards snow would drive all the snow to surrounding communities, including Fitchburg, Sun Prairie and Middleton, who would then reap the benefits of increased snow emergency parking violation revenues. The General Population reminded the lobbyists that we are indeed not Fitchburg, Sun Prairie or Middleton – and therefore are not subject to the Laws of Nature.

From http://www.fortemadison.com/live/article?id=148

• 16:06 Walked over to Wallgreens for some Aspirin, and got suckered into a 75%-off Christmas sale. Go, Orthadox Christmas! #
• 22:33 I've has had my iTunes burn, hard drive crash, laptop immolate and DVD player die. All in a day. Frankly, I'm afraid to use the toaster #
• 00:26 @Marmel But are you a Actation Lactivist...? #
• 00:37 @SJGames That frightens me more than you could know... #
• 00:38 @snickerdoodle85 Is true. Am also staying away from electric pencil sharpener... #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

I've has had my iTunes burn, external hard drive crash, laptop immolate, web site go totally buggy, and DVD player die. All in a day. Frankly, I'm afraid to use the toaster.

Oh, yeah. Plus. if Lousa's nicest outfits are the Dallas Cowboys, and poop is the Philadelphia Eagles, the score is now 6 to 44...