The Open-Source Boob Project

Open Source Boob Project

Well I just found something very interesting on the internet that I thought I would share with you; Women at a con were wearing green buttons to indicate that they are ok with being asked for permission to grope their breasts as part of a group project called the “Open-Source Boob Project.” Conversely those who were not interested were offered red buttons to indicate that they did not wish to be asked.

The original Live Journal blog post was written by Ferrett Steinmetz of the Might Have Been WebComic. http://www.mighthavebeen.net/

I would strongly suggest you read the actual Live Journal blog post here http://theferrett.livejournal.com/1087686.html Read the bottom part first. The top part is a clarification.

Now read the clarification of clarifications here http://theferrett.livejournal.com/1088382.html

My reaction to this was Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Are there not swinger’s bars for this kind of behavior? Is this where cons are heading?

Now the point has been made that men were offering their chests, and rear ends as part of this project as well. Frankly the name of the project is the Open-Source Boob project, not the open body project so I am not inclined to focus on the secondary offering, and I personally do not agree that the male chest or posterior is equal in value to the female breasts. Furthermore the offering of letting one feel a male’s package would be a bit much.

First off, lets just drop the “what actually happened” at the door. I don’t care what actually happened. I care about the principle of the idea. “Women wearing green buttons to indicate that they are ok with being asked to be groped at a Con.”

This is one of your typical "Whore if you do, Bitch if you don't." scenarios that men just do not get at all.

I have to ask myself, as a woman, gamer, science fiction, comic book reading, and regular Con goer, is this a good idea? Do I want to see this at the cons I attend?

I am bisexual, and were I to participate in this little project I would likely be on both sides. Groper, gropee. That being said I am also pretty open about sexual things. I am all for the happy 3-some, the swinger couple, the open relationship, and a few other things most other people might not understand. (Note I didn’t say the one-night-stand. Standards are important people.) However, we all know that the con hookup can be a terribly sweet time for everyone involved. Sex isn’t a bad word, breasts are beautiful, and a is a lovely part of the female body. In spite of my openness I find this concept just plain awkward.

We women have all heard the siren song of the whiney male. "Why can't we just cop a feel on your breasts? Life would be better if people weren't so sexually repressed! Whaaa whaa! I'd let you touch my penis!"

Well whoop dee doo da! No, it isn’t a big deal, unless you make it a big deal and go running around the con telling everyone you touched my 36 DDD knockers. Are you running about telling people I let you touch my foot? Is there an Open Source Ankle Project? No. Hrmm wonder why?

Meanwhile can I run around telling everyone I touched your grapefruit sized gonads or your 10-inch penis? Nope. Not even if you let me. Not even if I wanted to, because then I would be a whore. Don’t you get it? No, no you don’t.

Essentially this is intended to be an innocent demystification of the female body. It isn’t meant to turn anyone on, offend anyone, make anyone feel left out, or to put anyone into various uncomfortable positions. Ok, so I get the premise and I get it is supposed to be innocent concept. It’s supposed to be plain old fun. Well, it isn't. Sorry. It is groping. It is sexual, and if it weren’t you wouldn’t want to touch them. You aren’t asking to touch my hair, or rub my elbow. You are asking to touch my breasts, why? Well because it is sexual. I am fine with a sexual cuddly thing, but one needs to really look at the idea to understand the actual motivations behind it.

Besides I have been to many a con and I can tell you that there are many people at the cons that I wouldn't want to get a handshake from, let alone a breast exam! I realize that this is an "opt in" program but the idea is startling for many different reasons.

I’ll list a few obvious ones.

1.) It can get out of hand. Accidents happen. Someone could get hurt, or arrested.

2.) It puts people (and when I say people I mean primarily women) in an awkward position to say no to people touching.

3.) It puts people, mostly men, in the awkward position of asking for a grope and being rejected, likely in front of others.

4.) It puts some women in the difficult position of succumbing to peer pressure.

5.) Some women won’t get groped (much) thereby lowering their self-esteem, even further.

6.) This is a con, not Mardi grass. (Unless you know the con is in New Orleans and on Mardi grass.) Gamer/Sci-fi Cons are not conventions for breast touching enthusiasm, there are actual events for those people. This isn’t really the place for that.

7.) Some people are made uncomfortable by PDA, let alone the public grope.

8.) It isn’t innocent. Seriously I know how a penis works. See also elbows and feet not being fondled. (I know I am repeating myself.)

9.) Do we really want our cons associated with that behavior? Do we want to watch that behavior? Do we want to have to even consider what color of pin to wear or not wear at a con?

And all this to say, when a woman wears a low cut outfit and puts her goods on the shelf they are there for everyone with eyes to see; men, women, young, old, rich, poor, mouth breathers and prince charmings alike. But when a woman is put in a position to “permit touch” there are some difficult questions to be posed.

Think of the most disgusting gamer comic book sci-fic fan you know. The smelly overweight balding bad breathed pimple faced dork.* You know him, and you know her. (Keeping in mind that this is a seriously superficial way to judge people.) Now imagine having him or her ask politely to touch your breasts or (for you men) your penis and balls. Imagine saying yes, because you don’t want to hurt his or her feelings or worse, his or her reaction to you saying no after you let every other person in the room have a feel.

I discussed this with my female gamer friends and some were positive about the project, until this negative aspect was brought up. Thinking the problem through they saw that it was an invitation to hurt feelings and uncomfortable moments. Those who were negative about it, were extremely negative. Some suggestions, such as a yellow pin that said “Just *blank* off” were quite hostile.

The truth is, my breasts are not part of the cons entertainment. I do not think that I should have to be concerned, in any way, about how my desire for personal space will be viewed when I am among my peers having a good time.

It’s just a bad idea. Ok? And it certainly isn’t appropriate behavior for the main floor of a con. (Now at two in the morning in the after party cuddle puddle with you and your new friends, in the safety and privacy of a room, well… anything goes.)

Safe or no, sexist or no, it is just a bad idea.

So now that we have established that I think it is a bad idea, you may be wondering what the big deal is. This happened at only two cons, only one had the small green buttons and neither con was overly large. So really who cares right? Well, it is particular to our fandom that most often ideas are not spread by advertising, but by viral marketing. We count on each other to share what is good, and what is lame.

I say this project was, once carefully considered, very lame.

And on a side note, I am sure Ferrett Steinmetz is a very nice guy. He seems attractive, polite, well spoken and kind. This small group of people did it, and they had fun. Heck after a few shots I would probably think this is very amusing. But we have to look at the idea as grown ups and think it through, dealing with the possible repercussions of our actions. I stand by my statements, but they are not meant to be directed at any one person, or group, just the poorly considered idea. Also I know it worked out fine for them. Good for them. I firmly feel they got very lucky

That is my two cents. It’s your body and you do what you want, but me, I am not wearing a pin of any color, and I will be very disappointed if this becomes fashionable at the cons.

*I am an overweight con dork, occasionally with pimples, which can at times smell. Judging people by their appearances is wrong, just plain wrong. (But we all do it anyway.)